[	Current Mood	|	thankful	]
[	Current Music	|	brandy- have u ever	]

Life, i tell ya what it can turn out so wierd. Sometimes i dont even know where i stand in this crazy world i live in. It's funny to see who your true friends are and i can't really say i have someone that i trust with my whole life just yet, but that's okay because there's still time to do that. Im still young and although i once thought i was in love, there's time for that still..

Im so cold right now, school was okay today, i felt so sick today i seriously thought any minute i would throw up all over someone and that would be really embaressing. I thought of shaun all day today, i dont know why, am i really falling for this guy? I know my dad isent happy about the whole situation and i know he'll get mad wen My boy calls me today but if he asked me to break up with shaun i will, because i love my dad more than anyone in the whole entire universe and i hope he realises that. His like the only thing... i cant even find the words.

Shaun just read my email and his response was that he does realli like me and he dosent want me for one thing. i dunno if it's reall or not because iv been told that before, im so scared of getting hurt. My heart will take no more pain, i swear i wont be able to take it. I dont know why but it's like i still want a certain person to like me, just the thought makes me feel good about myself but i dont wanna send mixed messages to him and i dont know. Im still so confused, i hope the day comes wen i can finally see things clear.

Today i walked past M n J and he was smilling i knew that smile, thats the way he smiled at me when we liked eachother..Arggg the thought of him liking her makes me furious and i dont even know why. I so... wats the word selfish but i never will be as selfish as she is. What did i ever see that was so good?? I cant pretend to be okay with her anymore, she talks about him like as if me and him were never friend. I cant this!! Why cant he just talk to me, tell me his sorri and everything will be okay agen...

I love the fact shaun can make me smile all the time, even when his being realli stupied. his like imature and funny but then there's a seriuos side to him and his not bad to look at. His such a sweet guy, omg today i was full stressing because i had'nt talked to him for like a whole day and i nearly fainted. Not realli.. its weird every time i think or talk to him i start to shake and feel all funni. Is he the one fro me? Or should i end it now?